Henri Nouwen - powerful vulnerability

How could a man whose writings inspire and touch so many be himself so vulnerable and fraught with struggles? I asked the question as I read the overview of Henri's life in Robert Jonas's "Beauty of the Beloved," an anthology drawn from Nouwen's works.

The myth that pastors, spiritual leaders, and godly Christians are strong and flawless no longer circulates blatantly, and we know that the power of the risen Christ lies in the fact that it works best in the totally feeble ones. Like the lyric of the hymn "Give Thanks" that we often sing: "let the weak say I am strong."

Yet, within church today, who's brave enough to cry out for help during his most vulnerable state? Who dares to share his struggles before getting back on his feet? When will the church become safe enough for people to come lick their wounds? Not now, not yet.

What can we do to nurture a safe environment for everyone's sake?

2007

As I was driving through Huntington Drive to church yesterday, the speaker from radio prompted a question with the "genie" story - what is it that you want the most if you're granted three wishes?

I mused. By the time I approached Broadway Street and College Street, the word "Love" appeared so embarassingly big in my mind that felt a little strange.

Love
Yes, love. I want to experience love in depth and in breadth, in 2007. There's no guarantee in receiving love, whereas there is some certainty in giving love. But then how do I give if my pool runs dry? (By now, I already parked my car, sitting comfortably & admiring the Christmas banners of "hope," "joy," "peace," and "love" that decorate the wall in the new sanctuary from the upper level.) God brings us the wonderful gifts of hope, joy, peace, and love through Jesus. Yet, the Bible clearly privileges "love" above the other gifts, as it says "God is love," not "God is peace," even though Jesus, the Prince of Peace, brings peace to man. God IS Love. He doesn't only love us, but He Himself is Love. He is the source.

Categories of Love
C.S. Lewis writes about 4 kinds of human love - affection as between parents and children; friendship - the love of men for other men and women for women; erotic love - the love of men and women for each other; and the love of God - the love of God that enriches all love. It probably has something to do with my Chinese heritage that I think of love in terms of these relationships -- to my seniors (長輩), to my peers (平輩), and to my juniors (晚輩) -- with which I want to experience & practice love. (Interestingly & thankfully, I have been given more opportunities to interact with the younger generations at church, at school, and in my private-teaching environment in 2006.)

Purpose-driven Life
After I graduated, I pretty much felt that the goal has been accomplished. Getting the degree, for me, isn't a stepping stone to something else. It is the something else. I don't feel like pursuing anything -- a big house, or to be filthy rich. I can quit right now except that I need food and a place to live. But what's the purpose of living? New year resolution should be aligned to one's life goal. What's important in life? Relationships & Love, I believe.

Does every man /woman crave for some kind of Love? Doesn't seem that way. Either it's not true or s/he must be hiding it really well.

It's not without reason that the greatest commandment is to love -- "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength ... Love your neighbor as yourself." Rather than to view it as a commandment, I see it as the key to lead an abundant life.

Side Notes
One of my longtime favorite hymns is Ralph Carmichael's "I Looked For Love" (click here to listen to the tune*). Not many people know this hymn, but Carmichael's name shouldn't be unfamiliar because of his other work "He's Everything to Me."

I looked for love in the red rose so small,
I looked for love in the green tree so tall;
But the red rose had its thorns,
and the green tree was a cross,
and my searching for love was a total loss.

I looked for love in a friendly face so true,
I looked for love in a creed I once knew;
Well, my friend just called me friend,
and he said, "I'm searching too,"
and the creed only told me what I couldn't do.

Then one day I heard the story of love like I'd never known.
How God gave His Son to save me and wanted me for His own. His own, His very own.
And now I know what it means to belong,
not lost in a crowd,
swept along by the throng.
But to Him who gave His life,
Every longing to fulfill,
And I know that He loves me and He always will.

I feel that there should be a third verse which begins with "I looked for love in a fellowship setting ... (and got disappointed too)." Even Christian community may fail you. After all, we're just human. Well, Ralph Carmichael did it in the third verse of his other hymn, "Love is Surrender."

Shout about love and the wars will all end.
You can shout we're all brothers and even pretend.
But you can't cover up the past, just pretending'll never last.

Without Him love is not to be found; not to be found.
For Love is surrender,
Love is surrender to His will.
Love is surrender to His will.

New Year Resolution
Talk is cheap. Forget what I wrote. Do it. Please help me practice Love by not making it incredibly difficult.

*I re-recorded it to get rid of the static & to play with a slower tempo. You need a multiply account to get in. Once you get to the page, scroll down and select "I looked for love.")

Transformation

大地啊！你在主的面前，在雅各的　神面前要戰抖。
他使磐石變為水池，使堅石變為水泉。

詩篇 114:7-8

Tremble, O earth, at the presence of the Lord, at the presence of the God of Jacob, who turned the rock into a pool, the hard rock into springs of water.

Ps 114:7-8

If the Lord's presence can cause the earth to tremble, turn even the rock & the hard rock into into a pool and springs of water respectively, how can one then remain unaffected and unchanged after a genuine encounter with God, be it the conversion experience, the daily quiet time, and a weekly corporate worship experience?

Christians should be transformed on a daily basis. Are we?

圣诞祝福 - 给桐城中学同学

Dear kids: Greetings to you on Christmas eve. May the God I believe in shower His love and blessings upon you. Miss you much.

Gifts

I am lousy with picking out gifts for other people; but somehow I'm blessed with friends who're talented in picking fun, practical, pretty, & thoughtful gifts for me! A number of these people buy me gifts year after year not because I buy them gifts in return. (Not that I take them for granted, but either I couldn't find enough time to shop or don't have the brain to decide what they like.)

This is not fair, I think. Perhaps ... the idea of gift is not about fairness. God's gifts to us are all free - life, air, sunshine, Jesus. We just need to want and accept them. Come to think about it - "gift exchange" might be an oxymoron.

Revisiting AOK - act of kindness

Will I get an opportunity to do some AOK this Christmas? Am I waiting for "luck"? What am I giving Jesus for his birthday this year? What can I give Him?

Free to follow

I read the first verse yesterday during my devotion time, which brought back to memory the theme of last year's World Christian Conference (2006), Free to follow. And immediately the second verse came to mind.

"I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free."

Psalm 119:32

"Since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."

Hebrews 12:1

Yes, free to follow Christ. Get rid of everything that hinders and entangles. I read the verse below this morning.

"Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word."

Psalm 119:37

Music talk: my earthly treasures

With no pressure of preparing for lectures and almost done with the quarter, i do what i feel like doing these 2 days. I cleaned up my apartment by rearranging a few things and throwing out a few things.


Moving the CD player from the living room to the kitchen/dining area gives me great pleasure! Now when I clean the kitchen, I can have some audio entertainment.



Besides books, there are few things that I keep over a long period of time as I'm frequently on the move. But there's this music folder, which has stayed with me for many years and may be considered my "earthly" treasure. The folder contains music scores that I've accumulated over the years. (I started collecting song-sheets since secondary school.) Among these music scores is one of my favorite oldies, Simon and Garfunkel's Bridge Over Troubled Water. The musical arrangement was put together with a gospel kind of feel.

AOK - act of kindness

That's the title of today's sermon. And it happens to be the theme of the rerun of an Oprah Winfrey show I'm watching at this hour. About a week or so ago, Oprah during her show gave every person in her audience $1000 and charged each one to use the money to do acts of kindness. The re-run I'm watching now is the fruitful report back from some of the audience using the $ ingeniously and enthusiastically to help people whom they heard/learned to be in dire need. Two sisters started with $2000 and raised $200,000 for a shelter home. One person used the money to buy 4 plane tickets for parents whose children are hospitalized in another town/state/country so that they are able to fly there and spend Christmas with their kids in the hospital. That act inspired the airline companies which then donated 42 more tickets for the cause.

I'm of course not that ambitious, but from now to Christmas, will I be able to do one meaningful act of kindness to someone?

Almost Christmas

Tomororw is December 1. And pretty soon, it'll be Christmas.

I started to wonder the meaning of the suffix "mas" in the word Christmas when I noticed there's a Michaelmas.

The word "Christ" is borrowed from the Latin "Christus" and from the Greek "Christos," which mean the anointed one. The suffix "mas" evolves from the Old English word maesse meaning festival, feast day or mass (as in the Catholic mass).

Simple answer from surfing the internet.