growing love

Lately I have been into gardening and have gotten some success. My latest acquisition is to grow African Daisies. But my next project is to grow love.

Having done a little thinking in the past week on what humility, giving respect mean, I jolted myself by suddenly realizing that I seem not to understand love at a fundamental level. Has it ever occurred to you that the answer to a question is not meaningful until the time you ask that question?

As I l lay down to rest, lights already off for the night, I reflected on the Song of Songs verse about the "my beloved" and on God's love. I know He loves me and I savor His love, which seems more real and precious as I age for some reason. I ask myself if it's because I have experienced more of Him or because my connections of earthly love are tapering off.

Death took away one parent's love, while old age and illness have dramatically restricted the other parent's ability to express love. On top of that, I am in very little meaningful contact with relatives; love simply doesn't exist where there's no contact. Brothers and sisters at church have sort of kept a buffer zone, which could on the one hand ward off unnecessary personal conflicts and on the other hand allow our working together and showing support at family emergencies. Can we consider that as love of some kind? I don't think so. Friends, ah, I have been too busy and perhaps felt too self-sufficient to invest time and affection.

The theme of the upcoming Anhui trip is LOVE, and I'd better get this figured out before teaching the 5 love languages. It's time to give "LOVE" a renaissance at a fundamental level. Perhaps I should cut back from FB and do some more talking-on-the-phone.

TO BE CONT'D, if I figure anything out.

On the evening of 3/25, I made a few phone calls and was able to find one friend who had time to chitchat. It's a breakthrough that I made the phone call not because I needed to get a task done or get a problem solved.

3/30, for the past week or so, I have been arranging things for mom, interviewing potential home aides, visiting convalescent homes. Guess these are acts of love.