當我請求帶歌的弟兄姊妹早一點給我詩歌預備，每每他們的反應就是：「妳不需要了，妳可以看到樂譜立刻就彈出來嘛！」又或者他們因不同原因，到最後一分鐘才通知我要唱那一首歌，有時後我聽也沒聽過、看也沒看過譜就要彈，有時還要立刻transpose to a different key。我當然還能彈得出來，但這麼last minute就像考反應，不能夠用心彈出來了。
This is what differentiates the outstanding from the good. This is what differentiates the virtuosic elite from the skilled. This is what differentiates Abel and Cain.
Like what you've written and like you wrote in Chinese! Also reminds me of an old piece of mine.
事實上，這種心態也是我近年來的煩惱。當事奉「出了街」換來了好的迴響，事奉由獻給上帝突然變成贏取讚譽的表演。隨著年紀漸長，我也算學會了不將這些誤會放在心上。然而，若自己立下的所謂「好的榜樣」、或自己的心得、或自己給後上的一代事奉者的一些意見（有時為了要讓他們明白自己的問題，這些意見或許會sounds critical but not constructive to them）等，變成了人家的壓力或汗顏的原因，那就discourage了自己站出來承擔或開聲說話的意欲，人也自然變得沉默和低調了。
我的汗顏是向神汗顏，不是向你啊。Your blog entry 對我來說是一個好的，constructive的提醒。謝謝。
In fact, when I wrote the entry, I reflected upon how I was sometimes impatient to rehearse with brothers/sisters, as I couldn't understand why they need the extra time to practice. I committed the crime of forcing them to give God their 2nd best. With that in mind, I almost didn't want to publish the post because my sharing made myself 汗顏.
4 comments:
> 我的確用我的心去彈奏，因為這是我給神彈的。
> 他們不理解我的要求，也覺得不重要，因為他們
> 所要求的伴奏可以「出到街」。
This is what differentiates the outstanding from the good. This is what differentiates the virtuosic elite from the skilled. This is what differentiates Abel and Cain.
Like what you've written and like you wrote in Chinese! Also reminds me of an old piece of mine.
Thanks for liking it. I read your referred blog entry. It's a good reminder. Your examples made me 汗顏.
There's a lot of room for improvement in my attitude of serving God。
我的舊blog不是要用來叫妳或任何人汗顏，而是分享我因看過妳這篇後心裡所產生的共鳴。
事實上，這種心態也是我近年來的煩惱。當事奉「出了街」換來了好的迴響，事奉由獻給上帝突然變成贏取讚譽的表演。隨著年紀漸長，我也算學會了不將這些誤會放在心上。然而，若自己立下的所謂「好的榜樣」、或自己的心得、或自己給後上的一代事奉者的一些意見（有時為了要讓他們明白自己的問題，這些意見或許會sounds critical but not constructive to them）等，變成了人家的壓力或汗顏的原因，那就discourage了自己站出來承擔或開聲說話的意欲，人也自然變得沉默和低調了。
選擇沉默和低調背後的心態到底是「我還是少出聲少站出來，好給你們多點機會事奉和嘗試，在錯誤或不夠好中操練自己成長」，還是「既然你們受不了逆耳的忠言，我還是少出聲少站出來，就看你們如何碰釘，用結果顯出我的是和對」？那是我時刻要撫心自問和求神鑑察的事情。然而，作為教會其中一個守望者，我又應該容忍多久和多嚴重的錯誤、與及多少次的不夠好呢？
我現在選擇相信的是（又或者我的性格傾向這樣）：上帝的包容和耐性當然比我大比我久，其實還遠超我所能想像的。所以我選擇沉默後縱然事情出來不夠好或糟糕了，我不去想當初，而是想怎樣去補救和下次怎樣去改進。唯一的是，長期去想方法解決問題是不好受的，也佔去了自己想遠一點的時間。
你這篇回應內容很豐富喔。
我的汗顏是向神汗顏，不是向你啊。Your blog entry 對我來說是一個好的，constructive的提醒。謝謝。
In fact, when I wrote the entry, I reflected upon how I was sometimes impatient to rehearse with brothers/sisters, as I couldn't understand why they need the extra time to practice. I committed the crime of forcing them to give God their 2nd best. With that in mind, I almost didn't want to publish the post because my sharing made myself 汗顏.
> 當事奉「出了街」換來了好的迴響，...我也算學會了不將這些誤會放在心上.
I'm still learning the same thing.
> 那就discourage了自己站出來承擔或開聲說話的意欲，
舊約先知不也是：忠言逆耳常被當唱歌？
>所以我選擇沉默後縱然事情出來不夠好或糟糕了，我不去想當初，而是想怎樣去補救和下次怎樣去改進。唯一的是，長期去想方法解決問題是不好受的，也佔去了自己想遠一點的時間。
其實，每個人的”最好“不一樣，這不單關乎恩賜，也關乎屬靈程度，也勉強不來。我同意你所寫，上帝的包容和耐性遠超我們所能想像的, 他是用愛來激勵我們的。
You're not only doing a job, you're discipling people. And that's gonna take up more time and energy, and result may be slow to show.
神加你油！
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